One Rule For Summer School


Open up on a scene of me, watching a movie.  This is a fairly common occurrence.  The movie is Summer School.  It stars Mark Harmon, a skinnier Kirstie Alley, and a few other people.  Then I get to the end of the movie.  Mark Harmon makes out with a dog!

Does this constitute beastiality?  Isn’t beastiality illegal?  Yet it is in this movie and not through the magic of editing.  He makes out with the dog and we see it all.  There is penetration of tongues.  Not only is the dog’s tongue in Mark Harmon’s mouth...Mark Harmon’s tongue gets into the dog’s mouth.  That’s double penetration!

Did Turner make out with Hooch?  No.  Did Timmy make out with Lassie?  Not that I know of.  Did Charles Grodin ever take Beethoven, his Saint Bernard, into his arms and swap spit?  Hell no he didn’t.  And I’ll tell you why.  It is not proper to have interspecies erotica and it’s even worse to slap that onto a movie that is going to be shown to the public.  What you do in your own home is your own business.  It does not need to be shared on the big screen for everyone to see.

You can love a dog with all your heart.  You can cry when it’s hurt, be happy when the dog is happy.  What I don’t want is people making sexual advances on their pets.  A dog is man’s best friend, not man’s sexual partner.  If a man needs a sexual partner, he should find a lady.  Or a man if that’s his preference.  Mark Harmon had Kirstie Alley beneath him on a beach when he decided to stop kissing her and start kissing the dog.  There is something wrong with that man.  80s Kirstie Alley was an alright looking lady.

Now enough of that.  The dog kissing did get a laugh out of me as the movie ended.  I guess I shouldn’t be so harsh on it.  Not everyone can make an interspecies sexual act seem quite so funny.

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