Bye Bye Brett Ratner, Hello My Idea!


As much as I hate being part of the gossip machine, I can’t help but have to write about this.  Even when I know that hardly anyone will ever read this.  Hey, what can I do about that, right?  So...Brett Ratner and Eddie Murphy are out for the Oscars.  Simple as that.  They are looking for more people for the Oscars, I assume.  You wouldn’t want nobody to host it.

This is where my idea comes into play.  Now, when you read this, know full well that it will never happen.  Also know full well that by the time you read this, it will likely be out of date, and someone will have already been brought in to work on the ceremony. Hell, you might be reading this after the ceremony.  How do I know you won’t?

The first part comes down to the writing and production.  There needs to be someone who can push the envelope just enough, while not upsetting anyone.  I do not mean that we need profanity and sexual content.  That’s not necessary in any way.  Someone who can write comedy that isn’t completely derivative.  I think it could be Conan O’Brien.  I do not think he should host.  He’s got his own show, he’s got his own hosting style, and to many people it might be off-putting.  However, he, and his writing staff mind you, could bring together some solid writing for the Oscars that might get it up from its by-the-numbers format.  It wouldn’t be Ricky Gervais, no, but it wouldn’t be generic either.  Remember that Conan wrote for The Simpsons during what are normally considered its better years and SNL when they were going through their “silver age”.  He may not be of that calibre anymore but he can still write some good jokes, regardless of how he executes them as a host.

Next comes the host.  Obviously, Hugh Jackman is a good choice for the host.  Sometimes he can be a little bit showy, but he manages to ground it while going over the top.  It works.  He hosted a few years back.  I don’t remember which year exactly.  He’s a recent favourite.  Jackman is Wolverine.  Jackman is a Broadway star.  He has two sides.  He knows how to be serious.  He knows how to be comedic.  He knows how to host an awards show and make it entertaining.  He knows how to play off of others.  That is where my next part comes into play.

Why not have a co-host?  As awesome as Hugh Jackman is, can we get some Neil Patrick Harris in there too?  He knows how to host. Okay, I’ll not go into a “he knows how to” thing again.  Everything is better with a little bit of Neil Patrick Harris.  He’s NPH.  He was in Starship Troopers.  Plus, he and Hugh have already played off of each other successfully.  Remember this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkSpdvmXwDo  Look at how those two work together.  I could watch this for five hours.  Plus, NPH is the translation for the Americans who can’t understand Hugh Jackman’s accent.

This is my plan.  It, in no way, says these will be the best Oscar ceremony ever.  It will still be an overly extended, self-masturbatory awards ceremony where the things that shouldn’t win will win.  At least this will make it more entertaining.  I would watch it.  How about you?

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