Not Awkward


A Twitter follower asked me to make things less awkward.  I’m going to try to make things less awkward.  Let’s see how less awkward I can make things.

Sometimes I pee in the shower.  I’m not going to beat around the bush there.  I’ve done it.  It saves me having to flush the toilet.  The shower water can wash it all away, plus, if I hit myself, I’m in the shower and can just wash the urine off.  I don’t poop in the shower though.  That would be a mess that I wouldn’t want to deal with.

I’ve once participated in a failed drive-by mooning.  I was in the back seat of a van when we all decided that the guy in the passenger seat would stick his ass out the window at some pedestrians.  As he pulled down his pants and placed the cheeks to the outside, the driver sped up.  Until about ten feet later when we had to stop at a red light.  We couldn’t get away from the now angry pedestrians.

It would really hurt if I got my penis stuck in my fly.  The zipper closing on any of the skin in that region would be enough to make me cry, that’s for sure.  I might get traumatized so much that I would only wear sweatpants from that point forward.

As much as I will always enjoy my trip to Quebec City in grade 8, I will always despise what happened in my hotel room.  Sure, we had fun for most of the time.  We jumped on beds, accidentally broke the phone, watched Tampa Bay win the Stanley Cup, and watched people make each other pass out for fun.  The biggest problem was that one of the three other guys in the hotel room felt it was funny to poke people in the ass with the television remote.  I don’t think any of the rest of us wanted a remote in the ass.

I hope that was less awkward for you, Twitter follower who complained about awkwardness.  This was made for you so that you could have a not awkward blog entry to read.

Comments

  1. UnknownNovember 1, 2011 at 7:31 PM

    cute, and not awkward.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousNovember 1, 2011 at 7:59 PM

    This was incredibly awkward. For all of us.

    ReplyDelete
  3. JurassicGriffinNovember 1, 2011 at 8:19 PM

    Awkward, not awkward. There is no maybe.

    ReplyDelete
  4. LoopyNovember 2, 2011 at 9:52 AM

    Bahahahaa
    There's something about Mary, just saying :P

    ReplyDelete
  5. DanNovember 6, 2011 at 9:28 AM

    Does the 'remote in the ass' guy now live in Greenwich Village?

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

First Time Watches: March 2019

Image
I’ve been writing these first-time watch posts for a long time. They are a chronicle, month by month, of the movies that are new to me. They could be theatrical releases or they could be older movies that I’m finally getting around to. Either way, they’re fresh to my eyes, never having gone through them before. With that comes pleasant surprise, a great experience, disappointment, or frustration. There could be many more emotions as well. These posts share my emotions from having watched the movies with whoever decides to read them. I fell behind on these posts a long time ago and have been trying to work my way through them to eventually catch up. This post will cover March 2019 and the movies I saw for the first time over the course of that month. Any rewatches will not be a part of this post. If they aren’t first time watches, they don’t count. March was a month full of all kinds of movies. There were good and bad, like usual, and a variety of genres, also like usual. Th...
Read more

Is "Real Steel" Like "Over the Top"?

When I was going through my weekly movie binge a couple weeks ago, I stumbled upon two movies that I had never seen before that tackled a very similar story.   It was an odd thing to have happen because I didn’t know of any similarities between the two movies.   The first was Real Steel, a movie about a man who participates in robot boxing while bonding with the son that he had left years before.   The second was Over the Top, a movie about a man who participates in arm wrestling while bonding with the son that he had left years before.   Similar?   I think so. Let’s begin with Real Steel.   I watched this one because, why the hell not?   I quite enjoyed the movie and by the end I was rooting for Hugh Jackman’s character to help his robot, Atom, to a victory.   The thing to point out about Real Steel is how good the visual effects were.   I wasn’t expecting too much going in, but I thought they masterfully crafted each robot in a way that...
Read more

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Season 2, Episode 8: The Power Stealer

Image
Last time we sat down with the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers , Tommy was going through some serious stuff.   His powers were running low because Lord Zedd was targeting him.   He felt hopeless.   His friends were comforting him.   There was also a Robo Goat trying to take a powerful sword and use it against the Earth.   There were fights all over the place and an emotional hook that was unmatched in any episode that wasn’t in a multi-part arc. This episode, there might be follow-up to the Tommy storyline.   It would be nice to see more of the struggle with his powers.   Right now, that’s the one throughline that has been playing out.   II hope this episode continues to have some sort of meaning to the overall story, instead of being a self-contained and meaningless.   The show needs to grow and evolve, with a storyline that builds to something significant.   Having episodes that keep the story at a standstill is boring.   ...
Read more