Mustache Marathon Movie 8: Mr. Nanny

It’s almost the end of November.  That means that in the next few days I’ll be finishing up the Mustache Movie Marathon.  In order to do that, I needed to watch the movie I watched today.  I’m up to Mr. Nanny, the classic film starring Hulk Hogan as a bodyguard to two children who are being threatened by an evil man who wants a microchip from their dad.  It sounds amazing, doesn’t it?

Mr. Nanny was well into the acting career of Hulk Hogan.  That doesn’t stop you from clearly being able to tell that he was and is a wrestler.  From his mannerisms, to the way he spoke, to the actual character, he is a wrestler through and through.  What do I mean by this?  Let’s begin with the character who is a former wrestler.  That’s very basic.  His mannerisms are very wrestling like, especially in the fight scenes.  When he gets hit, he gets dazed like a wrestling daze.  He stumbles around with the overacting of classic wrestling.  And the way he speaks is very much ring speech.  Not his normal speech, but at the points when he yells at the children, I picture him on the microphone in the ring.

 I’m going to restate the plot but in a more elaborate way because I feel that the plot in and of itself helps to explain how the movie is.  Hulk Hogan plays Sean Armstrong, a former wrestler.  Sean is hired through a friend to become the bodyguard for a businessman’s children.  When he arrives, he finds out that he not only has to be their bodyguard, but he had to reconnect a father and his children in order to stop the children from acting out.  While all of this connecting a family is happening, an evil man is trying to force the businessman father to give him a highly powerful microchip.  Toss in crazy pranks, a sassy maid/cook lady, and George Jefferson, and you get Mr. Nanny.

The plot right there seems rather ridiculous.  Then you have Hulk Hogan.  If you’re willing to watch a Hulk Hogan movie, you know what you are getting in an acting sense.  But then you get his very distracting hair.  On his head is blonde hair.  On his face is a blonde mustache.  Above is eyes are two dark brown eyebrows.  I spent a good portion of the movie trying to figure out if that was possible naturally, if Hogan was dying his eyebrows, or if Hogan was dying his hair and mustache.  I would guess dying the hair and mustache.

Did I mention the mustache?  Normally I would be all for the handlebar ‘stache and would promote the thing like there is nothing else that exists in the world.  But Hogan’s handlebar did nothing for me.  It suits Hogan more than it would suit anyone else but I can’t help thinking that the mustache itself looks weird.  It might be that it could be dyed and it would create a falseness in the mustache.  A falseness to the mustache ruins it.  It truly does.

I think I would have enjoyed this movie a little bit more if I’d been drinking.  The first half hour or so really turned me off to it, but I came around and finished it, actually enjoying some of it more than I thought I would.  Low expectations can give good return sometime.

One more movie.  There Will Be Blood.  Three days left in November.  If anyone has some ideas for award categories for the wrap-up, feel free to leave comments or message me where you know me.  If anyone has some ideas for future marathon ideas, feel free to do the same thing.  Comments can be added at the bottom of the page for this blog entry.  On Twitter, I am JurassicGriffin.  Hit me up with ideas.

I have come to the end.  Mr. Nanny was worth the watch for me.  It might not be worth the watch for you.  That doesn’t matter to me because I watch movies so you don’t have to.  Until next time, keep on keeping on.