Work Stories: Episode 1: Late Night Sight

I’m going to begin this regular feature on the blog with one of the most interesting things I’ve witnessed while I’ve been at work.  I never expected to see anything like this, but it happened.  It’s something that I never thought to put on my bucket list.  Why would I think of putting it on there?  You can’t answer that question since you don’t know what I’m talking about.  At least, you don’t know yet.

Let me preface this with a little something.  You may or may not actually have read or heard this story before.  I’ve told people about it.  I know I have.  If you’ve heard it before, I’m sorry for the repetition.  Also of note, this isn’t the most exciting story in the world.  It’s fairly short and it’s more of a “look what I saw!” than an actual story.  It’s something interesting that I saw at work.  It’s something I want to share.  If it’s pointless, boring, or meaningless, I don’t care.  I’m putting it up.

It was my first year at my current job.  It definitely wasn’t my first shift.  This happened at night, and I wasn’t put on night shifts until my second week.  I remember that much when it comes to the time that this happened.  I’m fairly certain that it happened in my first month at the job.  I’m not positive.  Anyway, the day that it was doesn’t matter.  Just know that it was late at night.

I’m a cashier at a tourist attraction.  To be more accurate, I sell tickets for entry into the attraction.  I’m the person that you would walk up to, and give money to, in order to see what we have to offer.  That’s what my basic job is.  I sit fairly close to the street.  It’s easy for me to see what is going on outside of our building at any given time.  This is how I’ve seen half of the things I have seen at this job.  It’s exciting during the tourist season, less exciting in the off season.

So it’s after midnight.  Things are dying down for the night as people are spending more time in the bars up the street, or going back to their hotel for sleep or other things.  There’s not a lot going on outside.  The street is almost empty.  I have nothing to watch since there is nothing exciting happening.  I don’t know what I was doing.  Was I writing down my thoughts to share on Twitter?  Was I cleaning?  Was I playing with a ball?

After a little while of staring into the emptiness, I noticed something in the corner of my eye.  There was a van barreling down the street.  Normally, a van coming down the street wouldn’t pique my interest.  This time was different.  There was something about this van that made it more special than a normal van.  As it drove by my workplace I noticed what this difference was.  This was not your average van.  This was a sex van.

I saw the words “FREE SEX” printed on the side of the van in large bold letters.  I was aghast.  As the van continued down the street, away from my workplace, I could see through the back window that the van was lit up with bright green and red lights.  Adding together the fact that it said FREE SEX, it was lit up like a cash cab, and the fact that I know about sex vans from porn, this was an astonishing sight.  I never expected a sex van to drive by my workplace.  I didn’t know sex vans existed in reality.  I thought they were something made up solely for the purpose of a porn fetish.

So that’s the story.  I saw a sex van.  Like I said, it’s not the most exciting story.  I had no way to come down from the climax either.  This is the kind of stuff you’ll be getting as I share more stories about what I witnessed at work.  It’s great stuff, isn’t it?