The Canadian Horror Marathon Awards Part 1



Every marathon that I hold has to come to an end at some point.  Every end comes with a beginning.  Every end also comes with a marathon in review.  It’s time for some awards.  Dum dum dum dum.  Welcome to the Canadian Horror Marathon awards.  Many awards shall be given out this round.  There will be some of the usual awards encompassing the best and worst, as well as new awards that will highlight some of the great and not-so-great moments of the marathon.  Are you ready to get started?  I am.

The first category up will be for worst actress of the marathon.  I’m not doing nominees for the worst categories because I thought that most of the stuff I saw was good and to put anyone but the “winner” for each of the categories would be an injustice.  For that reason, Worst Actress will have only the winner and nobody else mentioned.  My pick for Worst Actress of the Canadian Horror Marathon is Tatiana Maslany for her performance in Ginger Snaps: Unleashed.  I don’t think she had the presence needed for the character she was playing, which bothered me.  I know that the character is supposed to be off, and you should be bothered, but I was bothered by the performance and not the character.  Perhaps someone of the same age with more experience, or more talent, could have brought that missing thing to the character of Ghost.  That is why Tatiana Maslany earned the Worst Actress this time around.

Pushing through to the next award, we have Worst Actor of the Canadian Horror Marathon.  This one, like the last one, only has the winner and no other nominees.  The only person that popped into my head when I thought of worst actor was a guy from My Bloody Valentine.  It is not a bad movie, but this one guy is the only guy that I kind of laughed at due to his acting.  This actor was Jim Murchison.  There’s something about his performance that was laughable.  I’m giving him this award as a token of how I enjoyed his performance, however bad it was.

Rapidfire!  You know what that means!  Quick awards!

Most Convincing Drunk – Margot Kidder in Black Christmas
Relative of the Most Convincing Drunk – Janet Kidder in Ginger Snaps: Unleashed
Best Use of Shapes – Cube
Best Use of a Pet Name in a Movie – Fido
The Dance Scene to End All Dance Scenes – Prom Night
I’m Axing You to the Dance – Prom Night

Okay...that’s enough of that.  Onto the Canucker Award which needs large focus this time around.  This is the Canadian Horror Marathon.  It obviously needs to give some focus to the award for the movie that screams “I AM CANADIAN!!!!”  There’s one movie that stood out above the rest.  You can check the write-up for it if you want to know why.  It was the only movie in which I felt the need to write about how Canadian it was.  That movie is My Bloody Valentine.  My Bloody Valentine wins the Canucker Award for the Canadian Horror Marathon.

The final award of the first part of the Canadian Horror Marathon Awards is going to be the Worst Movie.  It was fairly easy for me to decide which movie would get handed this award as there was only one movie that I was disappointed in.  You might be able to tell by reading the write-ups but there were a couple where I didn’t even say what I thought of the movie in any way.  The movie that got the prestigious title of Worst Movie in the Canadian Horror Marathon was a movie called Ginger Snaps: Unleashed which did not live up to the potential set by the first movie, and the story it was telling.  It was, by far, the most underwhelming movie of the marathon.

Congratulations to all winners, or losers, of this first part of the Canadian Horror Marathon Awards.  In the upcoming days, part two will show up and the rest of the awards shall be awarded.  Until then, this is your host leaving his spot to take an intermission break.  Goodnight.

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