23 Nitpicks About Ruby Sparks (2012)

1. Paul Dano is telling his dog to go potty.  Dogs don’t use a potty.
2. Who uses a typewriter anymore?  A computer is better.  It has spell check.
3. Paul Dano and Chris Messina do not look related.  In no way do they look like brothers.
4. The girl who played Maeby in Arrested Development played Mabel in this.  The names are too similar.
5. Paul Dano acts like the dog speaks English.  Dogs only speak dog.
6. The main character is Calvin, but there is no Hobbes.  Do you understand me?  There’s no Hobbes!
7. Calvin wears plaid socks.  I think that speaks for itself.
8. Ruby rides a bike without a helmet.  That’s dangerous.
9. Eating a burger with one hand is not the proper way to eat a burger.  Especially on the first bite.
10. He didn’t get any of the bun in that first bite of the burger.
11. A person jumping into a pool while fully clothed is a cliché that I never need to see again.
12. The television in Calvin’s home isn’t perfectly centered between the two speakers.
13. A song that was used in Eurotrip is in Ruby Sparks.  Don’t reuse songs like that, movie attempting to be a quirky independent type movie starring Paul Dano.
14. The picture on the wall barely resembles Paul Dano, but it’s supposed to be amazing.
15. No matter how you film it, Charades is not fun to watch in a movie.
16. That wooden chair made by Mort is not aesthetically pleasing.
17. Ruby runs up the stairs with her toes pointed in.  It’s unrealistic because most people walk with their toes pointed slightly outward.
18. It seems that Calvin has stopped writing narrative, and instead only writes personality traits.  That would create a bad book.  I cannot believe anything in this movie anymore.
19. When Ruby walks into the invisible wall, it’s at a different point in space every time.  The second time was a few millimeters different than the first.
20. There’s a continuity error in the typewriter.  He writes a line, it goes to another shot, then back to the typewriter, and part of the line is missing.
21. The dog eats a French fry.  That’s people food.
22. Paul Dano reading a book is boring.  They should have hired someone, anyone that sounds better than Paul Dano to read the book.
23. Only pretentious people use the word pretentious.  This movie is pretentious.