Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964), or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Music

Science fiction movies from the 50s and 60s are some of the most interesting movies to watch when it comes to quality filmmaking.  This is because a lot of science fiction relies on good prosthetics or good computer graphics in order to show off aliens, technology, and space in general.  In the 50s and 60s it was hard to get these special effects up to a standard at which most people today expect.

There is a big difference between how modern audiences might think of these science fiction movies, and how the movies should truly be seen.  From the way that the mass audiences today indulge themselves in movies covered in computer graphics, it could be extrapolated that people would think that a movie with practical effects that are not particularly great was bad.  Most 50s or 60s science fiction movies could fall into this broad category because resources for effects were quite limited.  However, many of these movies were good in quality for what the filmmakers were working with.  Watching a movie such as Santa Claus Conquers the Martians can help to highlight where a science fiction movie of that era could go wrong.

This is Robby the Robot, a staple of 50s science fiction.

The story of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians was an interesting story that could have made a solid, entertaining tale if done well.  The idea that the Martians needed a Santa Claus type of figurehead in order to bring joy back to their society was intriguing.  The idea of needing a figure in order to make an entire society feel better has been done well in movies such as The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises.  It is something that can bring substance to an otherwise simple premise.  The Martians decided that the best way to get a figurehead would be to kidnap Santa Claus himself.  Once again, this is an intriguing idea that could lead into a thrilling tale of getting Santa back to Earth.  These elements are completely wasted with the quality of what was on screen during the entire movie.

Most of the Martians were friendly with Santa Claus throughout the entire movie.  They kidnapped him from Earth, sure.  But they treated him as an equal, or as one of their own for the time being.  There were only three Martians that were against Santa Claus being brought to their planet.  The leader of the Martians prevented these three from doing anything.  Santa Claus did not conquer any Martians.  He was merely a bystander while a few Martians fought.  There was no struggle for Santa, outside of the one time that his life was truly in danger.

I have facial hair.  I must be the bad one.

Speaking of the Martians, the look that they were given was really bad.  They were people with some sort of colouring on their faces, and green clothes and helmets.  The colour on their faces was different depending on which Martian it was.  Also, one of the Martians had a giant mustache.  This may have been what they intended for the aliens to look like when making Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, but it seems as though they thought these changes could trick people into thinking that the creatures were entirely different.  The Martians looked like people whose skin had changed colour, and wore green clothes.  It was not convincing at all.

There was also an underlying element within Santa Claus Conquers the Martians that could be construed as a little bit creepy.  By laughing, Santa had the ability to make other people laugh.  This might seem like jolly old Saint Nick being a fun person and creating fun and laughter around him.  For the most part, that would be the correct assessment.  However, there was a scene during the climax of the film where the laughter bordered on insanity.  A man attempted to attack Santa Claus.  Children came to Santa’s rescue.  While the children were fighting the man with the toys in the workshop, Santa sat in the corner laughing maniacally.  This was a chilling scene that may haunt the people who watch it for ages.

We almost died.  Isn't that funny?

To say that there was wasted potential and misplaced genre mixing would be an understatement to the highest degree.  Santa Claus Conquers the Martians could have been a great science fiction thriller that would be talked about as a classic great from the 60s, but instead it was left as the laughing stock of an entire generation of science fiction films.  It is right alongside Plan 9 From Outer Space as a huge disaster of 60s science fiction.  This is a truly bad science fiction movie, and not one that is bad because it is compared to today’s standards of effects.

This Elvira picture looks better than anything in the movie I saw.

There is one thing that I would like to say before you finish reading:

• If you would like to suggest a movie to be watched for the Sunday "Bad" Movie, leave a comment or find me on Twitter.