Work Stories: Episode 57: Have a Drink on Me

Previously on Work Stories, I wrote about someone who seemed like they exploded on the toilet in the bathroom at work.  Today I’ll write about something that’s not quite as disgusting.  I know that some of you might be eating right now.  I don’t want to make you lose your appetite or throw up or anything like that.  I want you to cherish the food you eat because it might be your last meal.  That sounds a little dark.  Let’s get onto lighter fare.

I have another story about working at the museum I currently work at, and I’m going to share that story.  Why?  Because I want to.  You can’t stop me from sharing it.  I can share if I want to.  I can leave my friends behind.  If my friends don’t let me share, and they try to stop my sharing, then they’re no friends of mine.  That’s why I’m going back to the ole museum well to tell you about something else that happened while at work, going to work, or going home from work.  To be specific, this story happened while I was going home from work last night.

It was cold and snowy last night.  That sounds like the beginning of a stereotypical novel.  “It was a cold and snowy night.”  It’s true though.  It was cold, and it was snowy.  I had to walk the three blocks from work to the parking lot after we closed because, well, I was parked there.  I parked there instead of the much closer hotel we could park at because the hotel is down a big hill.  I knew that with the condition of the roads, my car wouldn’t make it up that slope, so it would be easier to park at the top of the hill and avoid it altogether.  That’s why I walked so far in the snow and cold.

Have I written about the bars up the street from my work before?  I feel like I’ve mentioned them, but I don’t know for sure.  Anyway, there are some bars up the street.  I have to walk past them to get to the parking lot.  As I approached that part of the street last night, I saw three guys standing outside one of the bars.  They didn’t move aside so I could walk by them on the sidewalk.  No.  You wouldn’t want people smoking cigarettes to move for the one person who is only going to be half a second getting by them.  They stood their ground and they turned and looked at me.

“Hey there.  Do you know any good bars around here?”

Now, I’m not a person who goes out drinking.  I’m more of a stay at home watching movies person.  You all know me.  That describes me pretty well, no?  What kind of answer could I give the three guys?  I told them that the only bars I knew about were the ones they were standing in the middle of.  I do know other bars, but not the ones that they were asking about based on the next bit of the conversation.

“But where are the bars we can go to if we want to find all the hot babes?”

I’m pretty sure they said babes.  Either that or chicks.  It was some sort of term that gave off the impression that women were meat and they wanted a good piece of it.  I didn’t know where they could find drunk women who would have sex with anybody they laid their eyes upon.  I’ve never been the person to ask if you wanted to know where to find these gals.  I know nothing, much like Jon Snow.  If I knew, I would have told them.  But I didn’t, so I just named all of the bars in the area.  This should have ended it, until this happened.

“Want to come inside and get a drink?  No?  Tomorrow.  Meet us here at the same time tomorrow and we’ll get drinks.  I’m buying.”

One of them offered to buy me a drink.  I had to say no, not only because I had no idea who these guys were, but because I also had to drive home.  See, I’m a responsible 23 year old who won’t drive when he’s been drinking.  There’s also the part where if I do, for some reason, ever get pulled over, and I had been drinking… Bye bye license.  I don’t have a full G license yet (In Ontario, there is G1, G2, and G), so I’m not allowed any alcohol whatsoever in my system.

As we parted ways, I could hear the guys yelling at me, reminding me to come back for a drink the next night, which is tonight.  That’s not going to happen.  And tonight isn’t even about the drinking and driving thing.  It was 10:30pm when this happened.  Same time tonight?  I’m going to be at work at 10:30pm, not up the street at the bar.  I’m going to be making money.  I’m sorry guys, I want me my money.

That’s this week’s Work Story.  I’m surprised that it ended up as long as it ended up.  I’m surprised I didn’t crash and burn at the end of it.  I’m surprised that I kind of like the story.  Next week, I’ll bring you another story about something that happened at work.

Until then, y'know, I seen me a mermaid once. I even seen me a shark eat an octopus. But I ain't never seen no phantom Russian submarine.