I’ve been touting for the past three weeks that I am doing a Mustache Marathon. That’s because between the bad movies that I am known for watching, I’ve been watching movies that have memorable mustaches in them. It is an annual thing that I do in November. While everyone else is growing out their facial hair to the point of looking like a dirty pedophile, I am watching movies where people have their already manscaped facial hair on display. These people tend not to look like the people you see raising awareness for prostate cancer. These people usually have good mustaches. They make the mustaches good.
The Mustache Marathon is currently in its fourth year. I started it back in 2011 as a way to take part in the mustache thing in November while still being able to rid myself of dirty looking facial hair. It used to include nine movies, one for each letter in the word “mustaches.” I’m not sure why I did that. It’s just what I did at the time. The third year changed that. I watched fourteen movies that got placed into the marathon. How I got that high, I don’t know. Maybe because I didn’t have to watch as many bad movies as I do now. This month is on its way to having about eleven movies included in the Mustache Marathon.
The first two weeks of the fourth annual Mustache Marathon had three movies a piece, covering a few genres. There was a Western, some comedies, a little bit of action in there, and a Wes Anderson movie. Yes, Wes Anderson is his own genre. There’s nothing out there like his movies, aside from his movies. This week, it’s more of the same. Romantic comedy and comedy. I might change it up next week with the final few movies. Who knows?
I should probably get to this week’s two additions to the 2014 edition of the Mustache Marathon. I think you guys will like one choice and wonder why the hell I chose the other. If there’s anyone actually reading this. Someday, someone will. I’m sure of that. And when you do, you’ll likely think what I typed.
Did You Hear About the Morgans?
Let me explain. I was trying to find something that hasn’t been included in a previous marathon that I have done. I wanted something with Sam Elliott since you need to include him in anything movie related about mustaches. I was hoping for something legal. So I went to Netflix Canada, I looked up Sam Elliott, and this was one of the few movies that showed up. That’s why it is in here. And the mustache didn’t disappoint. The rest of the movie did.
I don’t understand what this movie was trying to be. I get that there are romantic comedy elements in there. The two stars are Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant. You don’t get much more romantic comedy than those two. The problem comes from the subject matter. They almost get killed and end up in witness protection. The killer goes after them. This whole murder aspect is played seriously, which seems odd. And the relationship problems weren’t quirky and funny relationship problems, though the people behind the movie tried to make them seem that way. They were serious problems that weren’t funny. I don’t know how the movie ended up being serious when it is supposed to be a comedy but it didn’t work.
This movie did work. In the land of Fredonia, a bunch of wacky characters play pranks on one another while on the verge of war. When the war breaks out, they continue to be wacky with the danger all around them. It’s a laugh out loud riot as the Marx Brothers do the things that the Marx Brothers do.
There’s not much to actually say about the movie itself. It’s a lot of visual gags that don’t translate well to text. There are also a lot of quick little verbal quips that you need to experience by actually watching the movie rather than have me writing about it. But what made the movie part of the Mustache Marathon was Groucho’s trademark grease mustache that was also used on Harpo and Chico as they pretended to be Groucho’s character in the movie. There are a lot of grease mustaches running around at the same time in a scene that culminates in a great mirror gag.
Yeah, there were only two movies in the third week of the fourth annual Mustache Marathon. What can I say? I had a busy week. But the next update will be the last one for the marathon. It’ll be covering the rest of November. Surely, I can get more than two movies into that time. Next week you’ll get more movies from me. And you’ll get Burt Reynolds, the final regular that needs to be included in the marathon. Until next time, have fun with your mustaches.