Marathon of Shops Awards Part 1

Eight days into the month.  That’s eight days to think back and reminisce about the different movies that were a part of the Marathon of Shops.  I’ve thought things over and come to the conclusion that they deserve the awards that shall be given to them.  That’s right.  It’s time for some awards for the Marathon of Shops.  Let’s get this started.

The first award will be given for the worst use of a shop or mall in a movie.  That’s right, we’re getting the awards for the worst aspects out of the way first.  This award means that the movie did not capitalize on its setting to the fullest of its potential.  There was a shop or a mall, but they weren’t used as well as they could have been.  Once again, I will not be highlighting runners up because I don’t want to highlight the bad in everything.  I’m sad to announce that the winner of the worst use of the setting was You’ve Got Mail.  This is not the worst movie of the marathon, by any stretch.  I quite liked this movie.  However, out of all of the movies I saw, it used its store setting to the smallest effect.  Don’t let that detract you from wanting to see the movie though.  Worst use of mall or shop setting in this marathon is You’ve Got Mail.

Now let’s move onto the awards given in every marathon.  The first of these awards is for the worst actress of the marathon.  This is an award that has featured some bad performances and, unfairly, some performances that I just plain didn’t like.  Which will it be this time?  I’m not sure right now.  It will take some looking back upon this choice to see if it is a truly bad performance, or my personal taste.  So the next question is who will take home this award.  I’m pretty sure that this pick is an actual bad acting pick.  Suzee Slater wins this time around for her performance in Chopping Mall.  The movie was not striving for much, which is why it has the worst performance by a female in the marathon.

With that award handed out, now comes the award for worst male performance of the Marathon of Shops.  It only makes sense that the order would be this way.  The winner of this award, I know is unfair because it’s based solely on my distaste for the performance.  I do not care.  I want this performance to forever be recognized as the worst performance of the Marathon of Shops.  Michael Pena needs to claim his prize for his performance in Observe and Report.  That performance was so irritating that I knew it was going to get this award as soon as I saw it.  Congratulations, Michael Pena.  You earned this one.

It’s time for a break from the big awards by tossing out some rapid fire awards.  These are going to be quick and short.  Here goes:

Miming it up award – Bill Irwin in Scenes from a Mall

Best robot – Robots in Chopping Mall

Best one-liner – “Scuba dooby doo.” from Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Stan Lee award – Stan Lee in Mallrats

The horse riding award – Career Opportunities

Strangest stunt – hang gliding inside a department store in Mannequin

Finally, we have gotten to the biggest award of the first half of the awards for the Marathon of Shops.  This is the award for the worst movie of the marathon.  Once again, this was clear cut for me.  It may not be what you expect, looking at the names of the movies in the marathon.  This movie might seem good without seeing it, but let me tell you that you can’t judge this one by its components.  The winner of the title of worst movie in the Marathon of Shops is Scenes from a Mall.  This movie had unlikeable characters involved in relationship drama that I didn’t care about at all.  That basically explains why I didn’t like the movie, and how it earned the title of the worst movie.

That brings the first half of the awards to a close.  We have the worst out of the way.  In the second half, I will highlight the best of the marathon, as well as a few other minor things.  Come back then.  I’ll be waiting.