Snow Set Move Marathon Awards Part 1

It’s that time once again.  Technically it’s past that time but a man needs to do his school work before his awards for the Snow Set Movie Marathon.  That’s right folks.  Remember when I watched ten movies all set in the snow or with icy conditions during December?  It’s time for me to present the awards for them.  Let’s see some of the awards.  Of course this will be a multiple part blog entry.  Why wouldn’t it be?  It’s too much to contain in one blog entry.

First up, let’s get an award for the best animal performance in the marathon.  Each performance here is actually a group performance because the animals weren’t alone.  The first of the honorable mentions are the dogs from Quintet.  These dogs could eat dead humans like no others.  The next honorable mention is for Frozen.  If you’ve seen the movie, you know what I mean.  Any more might be considered a spoiler and the awards aren’t for spoilers.  But there can only be one winner.  I think I’ve said that before.  The winner of the best animal performance goes to Dreamcatcher for when all of the animals are running away.  If that scene doesn’t give you chills in your mind, I don’t know, your mind might not be all there.  Congratulations Dreamcatcher.

Now it is time for the worst actress of the marathon.  That’s right.  I’m doing this one now.  I’m mixing the serious in with the fun.  Honorable mentions for the worst actress are Uma Thurman for Batman and Robin, and Shelley Duvall for The Shining.  Yes, I did not like Shelley Duvall’s performance.  Don’t hate me for that.  It’s just my preference.  The winner of the worst actress for the Snow Set Movie Marathon is Alicia Silverstone and her mustache in Batman and Robin.  As much as I dislike Uma Thurman’s performance in that same movie, Silverstone can’t even bring the amount of entertainment that Thurman brings.  That’s a bigger travesty in my opinion.  If you’re going to do a poor job, why not make it at least somewhat entertaining to watch?

Best Actress.  I have to do that one after the worst actress.  Let’s see the honorable mentions.  People may argue with this one because of the movie but I liked Brigitte Fossey and Bibi Andersson in the film Quintet.  I have nothing bad to say about the acting in that movie actually.  They were all fairly good.  I’m going to also toss in Gabrielle Rose for her work in The Sweet Hereafter.  That brings me to the winner of best actress.  How could I do this and not award Best Actress to Sarah Polley?  That’s who is getting Best Actress for this marathon.  Her work in The Sweet Hereafter rivals that of the men for the best performance.  I know who is getting best male and she comes really close to that performance, in my mind.  That’s a job well done, Sarah.

I quickly want to shoot through a few honorary awards that I feel are needed here.  I don’t have the time to expand upon most of these because of school and stuff.  I can’t spend so much time doing awards.  Here are some honorary awards:

The Award for What the Eff Did I Just See goes to The Shining for the bear man.  You’ll know if you’ve seen it.

The Award for Best Song goes to The Sweet Hereafter for the Sarah Polley rendition of Courage.  So hauntingly beautiful.

The Mountaineers Award for the best mountain climbing sequence goes to Touching the Void for anything.  The movie made me feel like I’ve never felt for a documentary before.

The Worst Looking City Award goes to Batman and Robin.  You might have thought Quintet, but I hate the architecture of that Gotham so much more.

I’ll run through a few more of these in the second half of the awards.  Now onto the final award for this half.

I’m going to finish off this half of the awards with the Worst Movie.  This is a fairly easy award to predict seeing as my two honorable mentions are movies that I was disappointed by but didn’t hate.  Those honorable mentions are The Eiger Sanction and Frozen.  Those two movies aren’t necessarily bad, and I don’t hate them.  They had their positives.  The winner of worst movie is a movie I detest though.  It made me sick from almost the exact moment I turned it on.  That movie is called Batman and Robin.  There isn’t much to say.  Too much Bruce, not enough Batman.  It went too far in the comedy direction.  The villains were terrible caricatures of what they could have been.  There was a sideplot involving Alfred being sick.  The acting was obnoxious.  The sets were terrible to look at.  The Arnie puns were really really bad.  It’s just a horrible movie.  So gosh darn horrible.  Worst movie of the marathon: Batman and Robin.  I didn’t mind Clooney though.

That concludes this first half of the Snow Set Movie Marathon awards.  I’ll be back soon with the next half which includes best and worst actor, best movie, and a few other awards you might want to know about.  I hope you enjoyed these ones.