Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, Die, Die, Die


I forgot how much I sucked at Call of Duty until I played it again this week.  I’ve never actually taken the time to get any skill at any game.  All I ever want to do is run around, kill a couple of people, get myself killed, then leave.  That’s about all I do when I play.

I don’t have any idea what I am doing when I play video games.  I just run around doing whatever I think should be done.  In first person shooters I run around aiming towards people.  I don’t shoot them, but I shoot at them.  My aim is that bad.  I lurk around corners but there are better lurkers behind me ready to kill me.  I die easily.  I am the meat that is there only to be killed and boost the other team’s stats.

But as much as I die, I enjoy playing.  I do manage to get the occasional kill in.  I am satisfied with myself when I get that kill.  Then I see my ratio.  1 and 10.  1 and 15.  The occasional 1 and 20.  Nobody wants to be on my team.  I don’t care.  I’m not listening to them.  I’ve got my music going.

I rock when I’m killing zombies.  I can kill them like it’s nobody’s business.  But online?  That’s where I suck.  I’m that ant that you kill just for the sake of killing.  I’m not used for anything but a human shield.  Need somebody to distract the sniper while you take him out?  I’m your man.  But killing the enemy?  Man, that ain’t me.

I don’t yell at the screen either.  I’m not that into it.  I enjoy the game but I don’t take it as serious as some people.  I don’t need to be the best I can be.  I need to enjoy what I am putting my time into or else it’s just a waste.  I’m not going to be screaming at players who can’t hear me because I don’t have a microphone.  That would make me seem like an ass and I’d rather not look like an ass to anyone who walks into the room.

So if you are ever playing a first person shooter and you feel the need to win, make sure I’m not on your team.  You won’t like me being on your team.

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